Monday, December 17, 2012

How I Overcame My Setback...

So as I was reading one of my favorite blog's Longing4Length (Heyyyy  EbonyCPrincess!!!) and I stumbled upon her post about her setback and how upset she was at the time and it brought back not so old memories about how I felt about my own setback. It took me a very long time to accept my setback and figure out what to do in order to move forward. I've narrowed it down to these following things:

  • I had to come to grips with the fact that I'd had a setback. I was in denial for the longest, but every time I  looked in the mirror the truth was looking right back at me. *sigh*
  • I figured out exactly what caused my setback. In my case this was a bad attempt at self relaxing and removing braids and not detangling properly. The water hit my hair and it was a hot matted mess. I had breakage everywhere. 
  • The next thing that I did was let go of the damage. At first I tried to cut away at my damaged hair every relaxer, but after 6 months of cutting and still not seeing the health and thickness that I wanted I got fed up, found a stylist (that I love by the way) and got a professional cut (about 4" total). I cringe every time I think about the amount of hair that was cut, but it was absolutely necessary.
  • I set new realistic goals for my hair. My first goal is to reach full APL, hopefully by August 2013 *crosses fingers* By setting realistic goals it gives me something to work towards without putting so much focus on my ultimate goal of having BSL-MBL hair. 
  • I revamped my regimen and cut out all of the experimenting with different products and methods that I know for a fact hadn't worked for my hair in the past. I developed a very simple regimen that was easy to follow and fit into my schedule nicely. Now don't get me wrong I've experimented and adjusted along the way, but for the most part my hair has been experiencing consistency and is really enjoying it. 
  • I decided to stop having length checks so often. I've currently narrowed my length checks down to every other relaxer or twice a year. As tempted as I am to look at length comparisons I know it will drive me crazy. I'm more focused on maintaining the health of my hair. If I can do that then I know length will come! 
I think the most important thing that my setback taught me was to enjoy my hair at all stages. Before I was so concerned with making it to BSL as quickly as possible that I forgot to appreciate the little things like being able to make a bun, or having full thick ends, or enjoying a fabulous caruso steam rollerset. I'm enjoying the health of my hair. I know that if I stay focused my goal length will come and when it does as Kanye says "You can't tell me NOTHIN!" Until next time...

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